Ridgemont Graduate School

Philosophiae Doctor in Algorithmica Degeneratio

Data-driven empire · AI “secret sauce” · never invoiced the model

This certifies that Kevan Burns has defended a dissertation on turning raw numbers into theoretical edges across MLB, NFL, NBA, soccer, and sports yet to be invented.

Competencies: machine-learning hype, bulletproof risk frameworks (on paper), and explaining variance to Dean at 7:00 AM.

Dean Smokey Hashbrook, Provost of Applied Chaos

Richard Vernon, Dean — citation required before tailgate

Verify (parody): RIDGE-PHD-DEGEN-2026 · Spicoli High satellite campus